Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
