he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
