I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
we're so committed to being not committed
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
