I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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