I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
