It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We need a shit load of segways right now
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
