Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Dear god my vagina.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
