Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
