Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
