sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
