Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
