first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i just google imaged poop.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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