The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
