you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
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I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
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I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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