my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.