The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Dating After Heartbreak
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Good thing I've started drinking again
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father