i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
