i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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