I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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