Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
