I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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