I forgot how hot balto sounded
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize