It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
