she was so not down for the gang bang
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
