Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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