We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
