I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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