Welp...herpes.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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