i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
