My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
