what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
