So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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