She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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