no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
