I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Dear god my vagina.
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