Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
last night I used snow as a chaser
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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