I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
