I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Someone shattered a urinal.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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