OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
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I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
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Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize