he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Drake has all the answers
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
