i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
