Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
