She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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