i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
