I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize