i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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