I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
