I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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