You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
