First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
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Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
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On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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