A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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