thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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