i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
