God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize