he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize
