this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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