dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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