bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
