I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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