Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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