i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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