I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
