I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize