Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
