he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
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Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
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I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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