Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
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You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
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What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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