You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
