okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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